What's My Purpose

Ever wondered about your purpose or what God’s will is?  Yeah, I have too. 

Jesus actually talks a little about this in Matthew 6:25-34.  In these verses of scripture Jesus takes the time to speak about the worries of this life (our essential needs--food, clothing, health, shelter).  Jesus says in v. 33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.”  What is Jesus trying to tell us here?  What does it mean to seek first the Kingdom?  Well, I think Jesus is trying to tell us that there are really two kingdoms at work in this world.  One of those kingdoms is where we reign, where we are in control, and it’s the one ruled by Satan.  Eesh, I don’t want anything to do with that Kingdom.  I wonder though, I wonder, how often we get caught up in that kingdom and don’t even realize it.  The other Kingdom though is the Kingdom of God, the Kingdom where God reigns, not us, but Him.  We are very active in this Kingdom, but God’s the one who is in control of our lives.  We are submitted to Him, seeking Him, desiring to honor His Name instead of our own.  When we start seeking Him amazing things start to happen.  Life just gets easier.  Now, it doesn't always mean circumstances get easier, but that place in our hearts that likes to wrestle, and worry experiences peace instead of anxiety. 

So, you want to know what your purpose is?  Then start seeking God.  Don’t try to take control.  Say goodbye to yourself and hello to Jesus.  Submit to Him, the Father who knows and has a plan.  The Holy Spirit will guide you and show you your purpose in Him.  One word of caution though, I think we are always looking for God to use us in some grand way.  Don’t be surprised if God uses you on a much smaller scale that you expected.  Oh, but nothing, no work for the Kingdom is small in God’s eyes! 

 This life is not about making our name great, it’s about making His Name great!  Here’s a little something to get you started on seeking God’s will for your life.  Ready?  Okay, here it goes.

"One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’   There is no commandment greater than these.”" Mark 12:28-31

 

Is God first in your life?  Are you seeking Him for the call of your life?  Or are you seeking money, prestige, and a name for yourself?  What about your neighbor?  I dare you to start pouring out your life to others and see if you just might experience some sense of purpose and fulfillment. 

As life goes on and each year passes by as you walk submitted to the Lord Jesus, you will realize it becomes easier to know His will, to sense His direction, to hear His voice. 

The Glory of Our Gracious God

I have wanted to write a blog like this for a while, but it wasn’t until I read a friend of mine’s blog this past week that I was greatly moved in my heart.  My friend actually lost his wife to a very short battle with brain cancer just over a year ago and his blog inspired me and challenged me in my own faith (you should read it).  No really, go read it.  I, myself, was hit with the question, am I really living in a way that says I trust God, believing He is sovereign, knowing His plans are best, and that my pain is an opportunity for God’s glory to be seen?  You see, I do believe that my pain is for a purpose, but I want to believe it even more, with greater faith and obedience.  I want to expect God’s glory. I want to want what God wants and not what Andrea wants. 

Over this past year the grace of God in my life has been absolutely amazing, I have so much to be thankful for.  Yes, I have had a lot of health problems and are still dealing with some.  I have come to realize though that if the Lord saw it fit for me to be restored to even better health then I would be, but something bigger is at stake, something beyond me; it is the glory of God.  So this year, I have decided that my aim will be the glory of God; the glory of God in each and every circumstance of my life.  That my constant prayer would be, Father, show me your glory through my own health struggles, and display Your glory through me so I might be a testimony of your love, grace, and faithfulness.  And even when I don’t see it grant me the faith to keep moving forward rejoicing in You.

The beautiful thing is when I take the time to reflect I can see the hand of God all throughout this past year.  I have seen the glory of the Lord at work and I think it is time to give God the praise He is due.  So here are a few things God has done over this past year (in no particular order):

1.       My heart is beating.

2.      My heart is beating.

3.      Did I mention my heart is beating?  Glory to God!  When I stop and ponder the depths of this reality I can do nothing but say, thank You Jesus!  Thank You Father for granting someone the knowledge to invent a pacemaker.  I am no longer dizzy, short of breathe, or experiencing palpitations.  Father, let it be to Your glory!

4.      My blood pressure reached over 100 just over a week ago.  It has been in the 80’s 90’s for probably a year.  This is a wonderful gift of grace!

5.      My husband is a gift of God’s grace, and he has been such a supportive rock for me during this time.  He is a gift of God’s grace to me.

6.      I had to quit my job over the summer because of my health.  God has provided for Michael and me in monetary ways we never could have expected.  Indeed, our Father takes care of His children!

7.      I found out my adrenal and thyroid glands are not working properly, which is why I am still tired and easily worn out.  I am seeing a holistic specialist and have seen improvements in my health.  Glory to God!

8.     I have truly come to the end of myself in different ways.  God has shown me my sin, my brokenness, and my areas I needed to surrender to Him.  This has been a freeing, empowering, humbling, amazingly good experience!  I believe my faith is becoming even more real, it’s growing roots. Glory to God! 

9.      In ministering to others I have found I am better able to sympathize and walk alongside of people in their own struggle because of my own experience.  This is a gift!

Yes, I have seen His glory at work and I am ready to watch it continue to unfold in my journey towards health—physical and spiritual.  All of these things listed above are all things to praise God about.  They are here to ignite my faith, and hopefully yours as we continue on in this New Year.  Yes, our God is faithful and true!  He can be trusted.  He is always at work in the lives of His children and it is always for His glory and our good.   He is worthy of our ceaseless praise.

My prayer is to be a woman of ceaseless praise; a woman that speaks words of faith, and desires God’s glory over her own comfort or will.  I’m here, in this season, for a reason beyond myself and I think that’s pretty awesome. 

Ps. 103:1-5

Praise the Lord, O my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the Lord, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits—

who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

As you look back on this past year, what can you praise God for?  What is your hope for the New Year?

A New Year

As I look back on this year I would have to admit it has been a very difficult year.  Perhaps you could say the same thing.  Even though this year has been difficult spiritually, emotionally and physically—I know Jesus has been there all the way.  I have sensed Him near; I have heard Him beckoning me forward to follow Him, even when I felt stuck in despair, stubbornness, or physical limitations.  This has been a year of choosing.  Choosing to follow and believe in the plans God has for me according to His Word.  Faith is a choice my friends, it is not a feeling.  If we relied on our feelings to determine who God is we would crumble at the first sign of struggle. Why?  Because our feelings would tell us He is not loving, He does not answer our prayers, He cannot be trusted, etc..  So we take control because in our minds God cannot be trusted.  My friends, can I tell you, He can be trusted.  He is the only thing stable in my life.  Go ahead, call Him a crutch.  I am totally okay with that because on this journey of health struggles, you better believe I have leaned on my Lord in ways like never before. 

Perhaps that is what God is trying to get at all along?  Because on this journey, I know God has brought me to the end of myself in different ways when it comes to self-sufficiency, areas of sin, and my faith in Him.  I am tired of me.  I want Jesus.  That’s all I want.  I do not want my neurotic, controlling, unbelieving, weak self (Wow, I am exhausting!). 

In many ways 2013 is a new year for me.  Though I would like to put 2012 behind me, I do not ever want to forget it because God was at work.  When I take the time to look beyond myself, I do see the grace of God—through people, my pacemaker, divine interventions, answers to prayers, and better health. 

Deep down I have sensed that God would restore my health too me, and I can finally say I feel my body getting stronger.  Glory to God!  My blood pressure has finally gone above 100, last week I actually felt strength in my body and not that tired aching feeling I have walked around with for over a year.  Thank you Lord Jesus for Your grace, for Your mercy, for Your touch.  Perhaps, you are waiting, waiting for answers to your prayers.  My friends, He has answered your prayers.  He always does.  Will you surrender?  Will you trust?  Will you allow Him to do the work He longs to do in you?  Do not forget we are in a battle.  Satan does not want you to be free. He has a goal and that goal is to destroy you.  Take up arms and fight for your freedom in Christ.  Surrender to the Lord Jesus, who is your mighty warrior!  Get in the Word; it is your sword against the Enemy (Rev. 12:11, Eph. 6:17).  Yes, I know it takes work, I know you are tired but remember, less of you and more of Him.  That’s what He is after.    

Did you have a year like me?  One you want to put behind you.  I can understand, but I would also encourage you to reflect and seek God, don't be so quick to put it behind you.  Could it be that He is longing for you to draw closer to Himself?  I’d bet my last dollar on it.  Perhaps you could even say; it is our destiny in Christ.  God, bringing us to the end of ourselves and to a place where we realize—Jesus is all I need, Jesus is all I want.  Not ourselves, but Him.  His strength.  His character.  Walking with Jesus is a lifetime journey, but it’s a glorious journey of deeper wholeness and freedom that we have yet to know.

 

Gracious Father, we praise You because You have never left us nor forsaken us.  You are at work.   We give ourselves to that work because it is for your good purpose and our good. Though we may not understand, or have all of the answers, we choose to follow You by faith, not by sight.  We love you.  Bless this New Year, may it be a year of greater faith and obedience.  In the Name and power of Jesus Christ, the Son of David, the Messiah, the Anointed One, we pray.  Amen.

 

Seasons

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.” Ps. 51:17 

There are different seasons to life and no I’m not talking about winter or spring.  I am talking about the different phases of life we all experience as we grow and age.  Some of these seasons we love and wish would never end, some seasons we wish we never would have experienced, while some seasons we like but after a while we also want them to end. 

I was talking with a mentor of mine last week and she said to me something which really stuck out and I have tried to allow it to do something in my heart.  She said something to the effect of; you have to believe that in this new season of life there is the gracious abundant love of God.  

I have been thinking about this, trying to really wrap my head around it.  Because here’s the thing; this whole letting go of and wanting things in your life but not having them is not easy (I have blogged about it before, the difficulty of letting go and of allowing God to work in the timeouts of life).  Deep down I know and I believe that in this season of life, though it is unexpected and truthfully not all I long for, there is the overflowing love of God for me. 

You see, my problem is, I’m a bit of a fighter.  I always have been.  I’m pretty good at getting my way and what I want.  I figure things out fairly easily and tend to make them work for me.  Well, you know what friends; I cannot get this season to work for me.  At least not in the timing I want it to work in :). And this is really where I have gone wrong, isn’t it (and if probably why I need the humbling)?  We know that as followers of the Lord Jesus Christ we are in big trouble when we start living with the perspective of me.  It is not about me, my plans, nor my control it’s about the gracious and glorious plans God has for me and for all creation.  It is good to be humbled by the Lord, but my goodness does it hurt.  You know what I am talking about; I bet you have experienced it for yourself. And if you haven’t, I would be so bold to suggest to you that you should ask God to humble you.  Why?  Because it is where freedom is found. 

Freedom, you say?   Let me try to explain.  In this season of my life, God really has showed me so much, and not only about myself, but about Him.  My faith is growing roots, it’s becoming not just something I believe because it is what I read, no, I believe it because I have made a conscious choice to believe it in light of my circumstances.  We build spiritual strength and character as we allow The Word to minister Truth to us, in essence God is building the character of Jesus Christ in us, and this my friends is true freedom.  I really wonder if our faith has any real depth unless we ourselves have come to this place. 

So what I am going to do in this season?  I am going to surrender.  And the next day after that when the old feelings/desires arise—I will surrender again and I will keep surrendering because it is not about me.  It is about Jesus.  God is working out all things, for my good and His glory (Rom. 8:28, Phil. 2:13).  This is the Truth I cling to in this season of life, because there is for me and for you the gracious abundant love of God. 

What does your heart desire?  What does it mean for you to give it to God? 

Christmas Every Day

"But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:10-11

I love Christmas.  When I was a young child the one thing about Christmas that sticks out to me was the excitement I felt about opening gifts.  I always tried to play it off as though I was “Joe Cool” so to speak, but on the inside I was leaping with excitement and anticipation.  I would wake up throughout the night, my eyes would dart to the clock to find it was only two in the morning, then four in the morning, until finally the clock said six in the morning!  Six in the morning!   This, this was the time, the time when we were able to wake up our parents and go get our gifts!  Ready or not Mom and Dad, here we come! 

One day we will be with Jesus and the excitement we once felt at Christmas will never ever, ever leave.  Now, I do not know about you, but sometimes my heart gets a little fluttery as I think about the return of Jesus Christ (and no it is not my pacemaker).  I have a feeling He is waiting with great expectation and excitement for the day His Father tells Him it is time to go get His Bride (Bride= anyone in Christ).  And once the Father tells him to come, my friends, ready or not because here He comes!  I hope you are ready because He is coming (Matt. 24:30).  When the Father says it is time, He will come and He will not delay.  I think a really good sign of a follower of Jesus Christ is that not only are they ready for Him to come back, but they long for His glorious return.  It is hard to fathom, but one day, it will be like Christmas every day of the year.  The excitement will never end.  Come Lord Jesus, come.  We celebrate YOU this Christmas season. 

The State of my Health Address: Setbacks

Living a life of faith and trust in God is tough, especially when things do not go your way.  Yes?  Now, could it be that God does not always give us what we want because He wants us to learn what it really means to walk by faith, to truly trust Him, and in doing so become more abandoned to Him?  Yah, I think so.  Stubborn people like me though do not give up easily, but the more I walk this journey the more I realize I cannot do it on my own.  I need Him. 

A few weeks ago I had more energy and was starting to feel better.  This was a great feeling.  I think I got ahead of myself though, well, I know I got ahead of myself and I overdid it.  It’s tough when you feel like you’re getting better because you want it just to snowball and snowball and snowball until you have the greatest most enormous snowball ever created (Well, at least that how my mind works).  But after that week of doing too much, I had a week where I just had to take time to recover because I was exhausted.  I felt like I had taken a step or two backwards and this only reminded me of how far I have to go on this journey of healing. 

I never would have thought I’d be at this place.  I’ve always been active.  I have, for the most part, always been able to do the things I want or need to do. I’ve always felt in control (Hmm…maybe that’s the issue).  I had a friend ask me one time in college what I would do when I get older, considering I liked to work out and run so much.  I said to her, well I will probably always do something, like walking, even when I am old.  Wow, well, God has definitely had other plans for me.  (Last blog update I talked about letting go of running).

I find this frustrating at times.  Why?  Because I want, but I just plain can’t have what I want, my body will not do what I want it to do.  I am not used to this.  So, I could crawl in my own little pit of pity and despair, complaining and grumbling because my life is not what I want it to be.  Nope.  Not me.  No more.  (Unfortunately, I have spent some time in this pit, and I don’t like it, it’s no fun and it does not get me anywhere but bitter and disappointed).  Words of wisdom: DO NOT go in this pit, put up the yellow caution tape, do whatever you have to do, but DO NOT go in this pit it is U-G-L-Y.  (Trust me, you will thank me later). J

I recently prepared a lesson I gave over Thanksgiving and in it I talked about the importance of having God’s perspective as opposed to our own little small me perspective.  It’s interesting how God usually gives us a message to impart to others that He is actually working in us to accomplish.  Yep, I am asking the Lord to change my perspective.  You know, until recently I have really felt at peace about my health and where I am at.  But after this week of recovery I found myself in a bit of a different state.

As I prayed and complained about this to the Lord asking for mercy, healing, and a faster recovery I kept hearing this verse come to my mind “Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me” Tell the Israelites to move on.” (Exodus 14:15)

Sigh. Ok Lord, I know, I get it, and I repent; no more complaining. It’s time to move on in faith (with Your help of course).

Our perspective really does make a difference.  I am asking God to give me His perspective when it comes to my health because if I do not live from His perspective I am going to be one sad kid.  His perspective tells me:  He has a plan.  I can trust Him. He is working in me for His glory and my good.  Through suffering and perseverance He is building the character of His Son in me.  He has done great things for me, and deserves my praise. Eternity is what matters, not the temporal.  Jesus endured and because He endured, through Him, I can too. Etc..

So as I continue to walk this road towards healing and you too walk your own path of healing maybe we can learn from each other.  I am learning just how small my faith is and how prone I am to wanting my own way.  So once again, I have got to lay it down.  So that is what I will do.  I will choose to believe, and I will choose to thank Him in advance.  Speaking words of faith instead of doubt, praise instead of complaining.  Relying not on my own power but the power of Christ in me.  Believing that through these acts of surrender He will restore my heart, my joy, my peace in Him. Because deep down inside I know He is working for my good, and I also know He has done so much for me it’s truly amazing.  He deserves my ceaseless praise, even if my life is not what I want or expect.  And even if He never did one more thing for me, I would still praise Him, why?  Because even though I don’t deserve it He willingly sent His Son for me and for you out of His amazing love and that my friends is worthy of praise.     

There’s a reason why I am still working through all of my health issues, God has got some character transformation to do in me and that’s a wonderfully beautiful thing. So once again I’ll submit.  I’ll let go. 

Gracious Father, I thank You and praise You for all You’ve done for me.  You have been gracious, loving, and more than patient with me.  Forgive me of my lack of faith and of wanting my own way.  Lord, I submit to the plans You have for me, though they may not be my plans, I believe they are for my good and most importantly Your glory.  I am not my own.  I am Yours.  As Mary responded to the Angel, so I respond:  “I am the Lord’s servant, Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.” Luke 1:38

How do you keep a positive perspective when life gets tough?  What is God doing in your own journey with Him?

Marriage Monday: In Sickness and in Health

Marriage is such a wonderful gift, but it is also a gift that takes a lot of work.  Michael and I have been blessed to be able to walk this life of marriage together for a little over 6 years now.  Over these six years we have experienced different seasons.  This current season has been one where we have experienced just a small taste of the commitment we made to each other when we vowed to love each other, “in sickness and in health.”  This is a season that neither of us would have chosen at this time in our lives, but here it is.  So, we have a choice, we have a choice to decide what we will do with it.  Will we allow it to refine our love and commitment to each other or will we allow it to divide us?   I believe God desires to use these times to refine our marriage and deepen our love.  This takes work, very intentional work on our part.    

We have definitely learned a lot and will continue to learn for the rest of our lives about what it means to be joined together as “one flesh” (Matt. 19:6).  Marriage is a journey; it’s this amazing gift God gives us which really shows us the reality of our own selfish hearts and offers us the opportunity to grow, mature, and become less in and of ourselves.  Yep, marriage is a refinement process; it’s challenging, it’s beautiful, it’s redemptive and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

This season has been a crazy couple of years together.  The miscarriage and longing to be parents, the pacemaker and the complications that came with that, and now my adrenal/thyroid glands which are not up to par.  Needless to say, it has been a lot.

Situations like these cause stress, don’t they?  Stress on a marriage can cause problems. So what do we do?  How do we grow as a couple and allow these times to build our love—instead of divide?  In no way am I an expert nor would I ever claim to be (Lord knows, I am still learning).  I am just a regular gal, who is walking with Jesus through life and trying to learn something along the way.  But below I have shared a couple of the lessons I have learned.  Maybe you’ll be blessed, encouraged, or challenged in your own marriage/relationships through my experience.   That’s my prayer.

Lesson #1: Find an outlet.

We do not readily do this.  Why?  Well, I think in part it is due to the mentality of our culture.  We hear things like, “Be strong!” and “Hang in there!” when we should be given the permission to fall apart if need be.  Friends, it is vital we talk about our feelings, and is important we find someone who knows how to really listen to a person in crisis.  

Listening is an art and only some really know how to listen.  Find a person who knows how, whether that be a friend, a support group, or a counselor.  You have feelings.  They need to get out.  They need to be heard.  It is wonderful to talk to your spouse about how you feel, you should be doing this throughout, but often times they cannot fully understand or it can be overwhelming for them.  I was so very blessed to be able to talk through my own feelings with friends who had either learned the art of true listening or who had experienced something similar to myself and had a level of understanding. 

Lesson#2: Ask for help.

You will also often find when you are sick that you need help with the everyday things of life.  Ask for help!  You would be amazed at how willing people are to help.  Most people just do not know how to help.  So go head and ask; do not be afraid to tell people what you need.  Be specific.  Do not try to do it all on your own.  This will help alleviate stress.  This was probably one of the most helpful lessons we learned.  I know it is difficult to ask for help because either we want to feel like we can do it all or we do not want to feel like a burden to others.  Friends, you cannot and you do not have to do it all alone, nor do you need to feel like a burden.  God made us for community and within those communities we should help each other. 

Now I did not mention the most important lesson we have learned, communication.  It's key, without a doubt. But I am a little tired of writing and I think you may be tired of reading so maybe I will write another blog about it sometime :).

In reflecting on both of these lessons learned I think both of them challenge us to put aside our pride.  Don’t you?  There is no shame in admitting we need help and cannot do things on our own.  No one is perfect.  No marriage is perfect.  No two people are perfect.  You are not perfect.  Your life is not perfect.  It was not meant to be.  So STOP trying to live like it should be.  It is just not going to happen. We are all on a journey and on this journey God desires to refine us.  Marriage is just one way He refines us.  These challenging times don’t have to be tools of division but can be tools of grace used to strengthen your love and commitment for each other.  But you have to make the choice what you will do “in sickness and in health.”

 

How have you walked through crises in your life?  Have you found them to strengthen your marriage or divide?  What practical advice can you give?