5 Steps for Suffering Well

Suffering well.  Phhh…this is not my expertise.  It’s been a ginormous growing edge for me.  God has taken me on a pretty crazy journey to teach me a little bit more about suffering well.  Here are some of the practical insights He has taught me during this time. 

1.     Grieve our Loss, Both Big and Small.  Whether it’s losing a limb, a job, your temper or growing up without a mom or dad—it is vital we grieve it all.   It’s how we move on.   Ask the Lord to show you some of the pain you may have buried and not processed through so you can move on into deeper freedom with Christ. 

2.     Perspective is HUGE.  Sometimes when life gets tough, the only thing we can see is the negative present pain.  Yet, I’ve found that God’s grace is so abundant in our suffering.  Ask God to help you see your life from His perspective, an eternal perspective that sees both the really awesome stuff and the really painful stuff in proper balance. 

3.     Faith in His Word.  God has given us His Word of Truth in the Bible and He tells us that suffering and pain leads to good things, really good things.  Things like hope, love, and a more mature complete faith--suffering is how we become more like Christ.  Not only that but that He has a purpose for our lives, and it is good.  So, from God’s perspective suffering and pain is actually a good thing and not something to avoid (wrap your mind around that one!).  Ask God to grow your faith in His Word concerning your pain and loss. 

4.     Contentment, Joy, and Praise.  It really can happen in the midst of loss. We can be content, joyful people who are bent on praise, but it will take a very conscious choice to be this type of person.  Beloved, I am convinced of this, there is some deep freedom when we praise God through pain.  I admit though, this has been a big growing edge for me...my emotions have a way of guiding me.  I’m asking God to change my attitudes and to help me be a person of praise and thanksgiving in all circumstances.  Won’t you?

5.     Jesus is Enough.  This one is BIG.   Some things we loss, we may never get back.  We can live aching for what we’ve lost, but I believe God desires for us to come to His Son to find He really is enough for us.  I think it’s one of the main reasons He allows loss and suffering, He desires for us to come to Him in desperation for our well-being like never before.  His love, forgiveness and grace are what really sustain us.  Ask the Lord to help you turn to Him for inner peace and satisfaction so you may find that He is more than enough for you. 

Why Life Stinks

Have you ever wondered why you’re just not happy?  Why your heart is so restless?  Maybe you keep saying or thinking things like: 

I want a new job.  I want a new spouse.  I want more money in my bank account.  I want a bigger house.  I’m so tired of this health sickness.  Why can’t I exchange my kids at Wal-mart like I can a pair of shoes? 

It may be that we are miserable because we’ve chosen to be.  I know, you just got upset, because if I only knew what you’ve been through or are going through.  Beloved, I’m not trying to downplay the pain you’ve been through.  Yet, I also believe some of us are miserable and we don’t have to be but we are because of the attitudes we have chosen in response to our pain.  Life is full of unexpected circumstances, things far beyond our control.  It’s a choice how we respond to those circumstances and I believe we can actually have joy and be happy even when we’re experiencing pain and disappointment.  It’s called contentment and it comes from trusting God and not putting our hope in our circumstances—but in His Word. 

God has really been teaching me what contentment means lately.  Contentment means that I don’t have everything I want but I choose to trust in and thank Him for His sufficiency in my life resting in the fact that He has given me everything I need to be completely happy and content. 

Do we really believe that God is enough and that His love can truly satisfy?  Because if we did, we’d stop striving for more and we would be much more thankful people.  Thankful even for the painful stuff, because we believe by faith that God is using all of it to draw us closer to His heart and grow our faith.  God always acts of out love for us.  Always.  Yep, even in the struggle and in the pain, He’s acting out of love.  Don’t believe me, peruse the Scriptures that talk about suffering and see what God has to say about it.  I think you’ll be surprised to see the element of hope and goodness, which God tells us, comes through it. (Rom. 5:3-5, James 1:2-4, Gen. 50:20, James 1:12, Heb. 12:5-11, Rom. 8:18)

The more I rest in the Father’s love and complete control over my life, giving up my restlessness, and choosing to always be thankful the more satisfied I find my heart to be.  It’s here we find, that we don’t have to keep running and striving anymore because He is enough—more than enough. 

Joy Through Pain

I’m tired.  I’m hungry.  I ache.  I’m hot.  I’m a punching bag.  My stomach feels like Gumby, but I’m not Gumby…I’m pregnant. Yes, this is the beloved last trimester of pregnancy.  Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely ecstatic that I am pregnant and I will endure because I am waiting for the amazing day that I will meet our precious baby and hold him in my arms.  Wow, that makes it all worth it, doesn’t it? 

I keep thinking about how this relates to our walk with Jesus (sorry people this is just how my brain worksJ). 

I believe when we desire deeper intimacy with Jesus Christ there will come a time when life gets really hard.  It’s like having a baby and going through the last trimester and birth.  We have an Enemy, he doesn’t play by the rules and he wants us to give up on going deeper with Jesus.  So when life gets tough, the pain becomes unbearable, the accusations, the guilt, and the shame gets stronger and stronger—that’s the Enemy trying to deter you from walking into deeper intimacy with Christ.  He knows your freedom is sure in Christ so he’ll do everything he can to bring you to doubt God, filling your heart with unbelief and despair to keep you stuck.   Beloved, your God has deeper freedom for you through His Son.  Press on, trust, and rest!  Remember who you are in Christ, an overcomer and more than a conqueror (Rom. 8:37, Rev. 12:11).

The reality is, if we want to become like Jesus and grow in intimacy with Him, we will suffer and struggle. 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

God uses what Satan has intended to harm us to make us more complete in Him.  THAT’S THE TRUTH.  God is in complete control of our lives and nothing He allows is beyond His control.  Surrender it all to Him, stop holding on, let it go and let God transform your pain and grow your faith.   He can and will use it for His great glory and for a deeper intimacy with Christ.  Like the pains and discomfort of labor, it is totally worth it.  

Running Away: It's Time to Come Home

"Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay" Hab. 2:3

Was there ever a time in your childhood when you felt like running away?  Perhaps you almost did; you got the letter ready, packed a PB n J, and your favorite toy to discover you were too afraid to do it?  You knew it wasn’t a good idea, you’d be leaving a place of shelter, a family who loved you, and what would you eat tomorrow? 

As I reflect upon my life and the most difficult season of life to date which began towards the end of 2010, there have been many times where I felt like running away.  Why?  Because life didn’t go like I wanted it to nor expected it to go.  It was so much harder than I expected.  It seemed like every time I’d get somewhere or do something I’d have a setback or two follow me.  I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted.  It’s like God was taking me on a journey where I’d long to do things but for the life of me, I could not make them happen.  Have you ever been there?  In a place where it feels like things just are not going right?  As I reflect on this season of my life, I know all along God was trying to get my attention and bring me to a place of deeper trust and rest, to empty me of my own self-sufficiency, plans, and independence.  I was learning what it means to really praise God for His love, and not how He lives up to my expectations.  Wow, that sounds selfish, doesn’t it?

On this journey I have felt useless, embarrassed, defeated, out of control, weak, frustrated, fed-up, tired, and just plain done.  I wonder if anyone else ever has?  Yep, that’s called the stripping process.  It’s not easy, in fact, it’s very painful, but it is the redemption my sinful heart needs.  I’m so glad that the Lord disciplines those He loves, that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us, that God always leads us in triumphal processions in Christ, that it is God who works in me to will and act according to His good purpose, and that the God of all grace, after you have suffered a little while will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast (Heb. 12:6, Rom. 8:18, 2 Cor. 2:14, Phil. 2:13, 1 Peter 5:10). 

Sometimes God gives us more than we can handle.  He does.  Whoever told you He doesn’t, lied.  Trust me, there have been days where it has been too much for me.  You see, it’s about God bringing us to a place where we say, I get it, I can’t do it on my own, and I need You.  I just need You.  What is it about the Lord my friends, He really is that Rock that will never fail us, a constant help in times of trouble.  He stands up to His Word Beloved!  He is more than enough for us.  I never realized how sinful, so full of pride and selfishness I was before God took me on my journey to brokenness.  I’m so glad He did, because now we can get rid of that and get more of Jesus.  Hallelujah! 

I love Jesus and I CANNOT live without Him.  I’ll fall to pieces.  I can live without my sin--my pleasures, my comforts; my plans BUT I CANNOT live without Jesus.  What about you?  Are you falling to pieces?  Let God put you back together.  Have you run away from God or your responsibilities?  It could be an emotional abandonment.  We don’t physically have to leave something to have actually left it.  Come back to the Father like the prodigal son to find grace, healing, and forgiveness.  God may ask you or He may just take your comforts from you.  Give it to Him, I have a feeling it’s much easier than it being stripped from you.  It’s not worth holding on to.  It won’t bring your heart freedom, but the Lord Jesus can and does.  So why not come home to the Father?   

We serve a God of redemptive grace my friends, even in the midst of life’s most terrible, frustrating storms He gives us glimpses of His grace.  As I reflect further on this season I have also seen the hand of God move to protect me, sustain me, and grant me grace after grace.  Even more recently, I have seen the hand of God move graciously on my behalf to bring restoration to my body with my recent pregnancy and blood pressure that is finally back to normal.  I’m still praying for more restoration, but in the meantime, I’m learning to rest in my Father who sees and is more than enough for me!    

You Have My Permission

6-12-12

I am the type of person who does not like showing weakness.  I have wanted to be strong, or at least appear to be strong throughout this whole process of having surgery again.  But can I tell you the best thing a very dear friend told me was that I don’t have to be strong and it’s okay to fall apart.  Wow, I cannot even begin to express to you how freeing it was to be given permission to cry or do whatever I needed to do in that moment.  Trying to hold it all together is absolutely exhausting, but we do it more often than not.  Some of us have done it for so long; we don’t know any other way to live.  Unfortunately because we have lived so long in this place we do not have the emotional capacity to let others grieve and mourn through life’s pains. 

Why are we so afraid to experience the pain that comes with life’s challenges?  Could it be a fear of our own?  Pride(I think that’s my issue)?  But what about when it comes to others, maybe we just don’t like seeing others hurt.  Or perhaps if we allow others to be vulnerable it just might stir some emotion in us and we might appear “weak” to others.  Now I put weak in parentheses because in being real and honest about the sorrow we feel we are quite the opposite of weak.  No, to be real, to admit we are weak is actually to say we are strong.  I think this is what the Apostle Paul meant in 2 Cor. 12:10b “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”   Being sad or down about something doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us, no, that is normal.  It is when we stay there that it becomes a problem.  And Jesus does not want you to stay there. 

But Jesus can’t put back together a heart that hasn’t been broken.  Let me reword that…Jesus cannot put back together a heart that has not acknowledged it is broken.  I would argue that 99.9% if not all of us have something that has broken our hearts in one way or another.  When I got the news I had to have surgery again, you better believe my heart was broken.  Friends, I need the grace of God.  I am not a strong woman.  What strength I do have comes only from Him.  It is when I am weak that I experience the strength of Christ at work in me.  Because there’s something about being real that brings relief and a sense of freedom.  I do not want to appear strong for the sake of not appearing “weak,” but I find myself doing this at times.  Does that make sense to anyone?  I want to be weak, so I can have Christ’s strength and I want to let others do the same.  I hope you do too.

Don’t be afraid to fall apart; don’t think you have to hold it all together.  You don’t have to be strong.  He will be strong for you.  Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted. (Is. 61:1)  “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” (Luke 5:31)  Jesus cannot heal a self-righteous heart that sees no need for Him, or has no hope of healing.  Do we truly believe if we allowed Christ in He could heal us, or does hopelessness guide our lives?  Turn to Jesus, even if you heart doesn’t believe and ask Him to turn your sorrow into hope.  Memorize scriptures such as Ps. 43:5, Rom. 5:3-5, Jer. 29:11, Rom. 8:28, Phil. 1:6, Zeph. 3:17, Is. 61:1-3 and keep repeating them asking God to grow roots of belief.  I believe He can heal us and I will stand on that truth, by the grace of God, until the day I die.    

So friends, you have my permission.  Go ahead; fall apart, but in doing so remember you are not meant to stay there.  This is so very important to remember.  You are not meant to stay in despair!  Your heart is not meant to be in shatters.  It is meant to be whole. Call on the Name of Jesus.  Turn to Him and be restored.  It might take time, but don’t give up!