I'm Getting Baptized!

"Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23

It just so happens that this coming Sunday, January 29^th I am getting baptized!  I am so excited!  I know you are probably thinking to yourself, Andrea getting baptized now, hasn’t she already been?  Yes, I was baptized at the age of 10, but at that time I had no idea what I was doing.  My sister, Heather, and I both went forward together that Sunday, I think we both had no idea what we were doing and were just following the other.  Talk about the blind leading the blind (no offense Heath!).  I just thought it was the thing you eventually did after going to church for a while. I did not understand baptism followed your confession of faith in Jesus Christ.  I really did not know what that meant. You see it wasn’t until I was 15 that I truly gave my life to Christ, confessing Him as Savior and Lord. 

 I remember a few years ago, maybe 4-5 years ago, Heather was baptized as a believer in Christ.  I began to wrestle in my own spirit, wondering if this was something I also needed to do, but quickly decided it wasn’t.  However, in January of 2011 the Lord impressed upon my heart a desire to be baptized.  I remember becoming excited about it, but quickly I allowed my own fears of man and selfish pride to creep in and keep me from walking in obedience.  I pushed aside the issue but about 4 months ago the Lord again put this desire on my heart, but this time it was much clearer.  I knew He was calling me to the waters of baptism.  The Lord and I have been on such a journey over this past year, I truly think He was preparing me in different ways to walk in greater obedience and this was one of the areas of obedience.  I still wrestled with it, I tried to take control of it until I finally surrendered and He showed me what I needed to do.  I needed to talk to the Diaconate board of the church Michael and I just began serving at.  Talk about a humbling experience!  Praise God for humbling experiences!  Going into the meeting I have never felt such peace in my heart and I talked with them and they were overjoyed!   

 Of course, now I needed to tell the whole church of my decision and go forward after service on Sunday  (talk about facing that fear of what others think!)  I remember praying about it asking the Lord when He would have me go forward and I wasn’t sensing a clear call until the 2 weeks after I spoke with the Diaconate board.  I was standing in the bathroom putting my mascara on when I heard deep in my heart, “It’s time.”  I said to myself, what do You mean it’s time! “It’s time my child, it’s time.” I began to become nervous and I saw myself reverting back to my old fears.  I prayed and I said okay Lord, it’s time. 

 I will never forget that Sunday.  As I was standing in my pew singing the last song, I felt that call again.  Of course, I was being stubborn, Lord forgive me, and was wrestling in my spirit, even though I knew it was the right thing to do.  That old sinful nature is tough isn’t it!  I remember looking up to the front and I kid you not, I saw Christ.  He was standing there with a Shepherd staff in hand; arms open, and said to me, “Will you follow Me?”  Wow, how could I ignore this call and I responded with tears in my eyes, “Yes Lord, I will follow You.” 

 So long story short, this Sunday I am getting baptized.  Praise God!  What an exciting day this is for me, it’s a day of obedience, a day to follow Jesus in my own personal walk with Him.  God is so gracious and loving.  I know there may be some out there who don’t understand why I am getting baptized when I have already been, but I am okay with that I know God is calling me to follow Him in a believers baptism and if I did not follow I would be walking in disobedience.

 Jesus comes to all of us and He says, “Will you follow Me?”     

Walking with Jesus

So I thought it would only make sense to have a little blurb about the title of my blog. :)

Is. 61:1a "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners..."

Over these past 3-4 years Jesus has really been doing some work in my heart.  Seminary was such a wonderful time for me.  A time when Christ really began to break down some of my own walls and strongholds I had built up to protect myself.  That Jesus, He's pretty great.  As I think about my own philosophy for ministry and the calling God has put in my life, I am overwhelmed by the idea of how Christ longs and loves for us to walk with Him.  This is the path to true healing and wholeness. 

I never realized how many lies I believed and followed before I really began to dig into my own junk.  It was here that I began to discover the unhealthy coping mechanism I had in my life.  Instead of my identity being found and hidden in Christ, it was in myself and my own abilities.  What a tiring and stressful place to live!  God has been so gracious to me and showing me little by little the lies I have believed about myself and even about Him.  I am so thankful Jesus walks alongside of us in this journey through life and shows us piece by the piece the brokenness which truly resides in our hearts.  If He did it all at once, I do not think I would be able to handle it all, praise God He knows what He is doing. 

Yes, Jesus longs for us to walk with Him.  He longs for us to say no to the lies, the sin, the deceit and to truly give Him all of our lives and follow Him.  He is our Rescue.  I truly marvel at the grace of God, who sent His Son to die for us so we could be free from our sin, shame, and the brokenness which pervades our hearts.  "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."(Rom. 5:8)  We do not deserve it, but truly that is what grace is. 

One thing God has been showing me over this past year is that everyone has junk, everyone has sin. (Check this clip out my sister did for a little encouragment to be real  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KxwFBtGiAg )  For so long I was not real about my own sin, and in doing so I limited the work of the Holy Spirit in  my life.  For the first time in a long time, or maybe ever, I am beginning to be real and broken over my sin and rebellion and am experiencing freedom over certain areas of struggle that have plagued me for quite some time. Thank you Jesus!  I take no credit. 

Walking with Jesus, what a glorious place to be; I do not want to ever be any other place.  Now, I would be a fool if I told you I had this all figured out, no, I have got a lot of work to do, but my job is to submit in obedience knowing God will do the work He will show me the path.  I've walked some of my own paths and I'm so done with it because those paths lead to pits of despair.  Yes, we may experience times of despair as we walk with Jesus, but I cannot begin to express to you how much He cares for you and the wholeness and hope that can overflow your heart when you walk with Christ. Keep walking, keep trusting.  Look to Him not yourself, not your circumstances, but to Jesus.  The Enemy is a liar, an accuser, and thanks be to God he is a defeated foe!  Let's not allow him (or our own sinful selves) to take one more inch of our freedom in Christ!

A Daily Choice

I have never blogged before, so we will see how this goes. :)

Oswald Chambers says in his book, My Upmost for His Highest, "Isaiah was so attuned to God, because of the great crisis he had just endured, that the call of God penetrated his soul.  The majority of us cannot hear anything but ourselves.  And we cannot hear anything God says.  But to be brought to the place where we can hear the call of God is to be profoundly changed."

I have come to the conclusion that we are all on a journey, a journey to be complete, whole and truly satisfied.  You know, maybe I'm the only one out there, though I do not believe I am, who struggles with a longing for wholeness, but so often chooses quite the opposite.  This is something the Lord has really been teaching me lately.  I have a choice to make each day, will I follow the Lord Jesus Christ and walk this path to true wholeness, hope and freedom, or will I go my own self-destructive, self-seeking, self-protective way.   I'm tired of choosing the later, and I'm ready to choose daily to follow Jesus.  I have walked the path of self-denail for far too long.  It is time to own up to my own brokeness and sin.  Why are we so afraid to talk about brokeness and sin?  Why have these terms become so offensive?  It's in talking about our brokness and sin that we find the freedom our hearts so desperately long for.  I have often wondered to myself, there has got to be more to my life in Christ and do you know what I have come to conclude?  There is far much more to my life in Christ!  It's time to walk in true freedom and victory. 

I remember a time when life seemed much simpler, but I wonder how deep my faith in the goodness of God truly was.  Yes, I loved Jesus and was passionate about Him, but how deep were those roots of belief?  I have come to learn they were not very deep.  Having a relationship with Jesus, just like w/ your spouse or friend, is not always about feelings and emotions.  It's about a deep trust and inner knowing that Christ really does have your best interest in mind and that whatever life throws at you you really are safe in His arms.  I do not always feel in love with Jesus, but do I love Him?  Oh yes, I do, but there's a difference between feeling in love and making a commitment to love.  I am choosing to follow Jesus, I am choosing to love, to obey and to surrender even when life circumstances tell me He is not working for my good.  How foolish I would be to believe any other way than what the Word tells me, that He is indeed working for my good (Rom. 8:28).  I think in today's culture we are so prone to leave relationships when they get difficult.  I will not always feel in love with my husband, but have a made a commitment to him, you bet I have.  Marriages take work, and we cannot nor should we ever neglect the fact that our relationship with Christ takes work and commitment. God longs to bring you to a place of rest, of deeper intimacy with Him.  He will not give up on you, do not give up on Him.