So you may have heard the news. I’m pregnant! Glory to God!
Can I be honest? We were NOT expecting this. I know that sounds odd considering Michael and I have asked God for a child for over 4 years, and I have been working with a woman on my fertility through a holistic approach for just over a year but LET ME EXPLAIN. :)
In the fall of 2013 God began to really open my heart to adoption. Michael has been open to it for years and has really wanted to pursue it over the past year or two. It wasn’t until this fall though that my heart really began to open up to the idea. So we began talking about it more together. We even sat down with an agency and talked with an adoption counselor about the process of adoption. We had decided to start the process the first of the year after we got through the holidays. We were on our way. So we thought.
Because only ten short days before 2014 began on December 21st I discovered I was pregnant (Michael didn’t believe me, he made me take two tests and read the instructions to him J). So it seems like God had other plans for us! I have no doubt though He was working on my heart to open it up to adoption and we trust He knows exactly what He is doing.
I lost my first pregnancy early on in the summer of 2011 as some of you know. So as you can imagine we’ve had some mixed emotions at times, ranging from shock and delight, to fear and doubt. Early on after we found out I remember having a deep sense of peace, but then I let those fears creep in. You know, the ones about losing the pregnancy again and doubting this was actually happening. I went to Jesus with my fears and He helped me work them out and has restored my peace. I am so stinking glad I have a Savior who is so gracious, loving and has pulled me out of so many pits in my life. I have no doubt He will pull me out of this potential pit of fear in the weeks and months to come. Because I’m sure the waves of fear will come and go, but because He walks with me, I don’t have to live and stay and dwell in those places of fear. That’s a terrible place to live and my hope in Christ is to enjoy this pregnancy and rejoice in what God has done. Regardless of what happens, I believe my God is good in all His ways. I’ve been through too much with the Lord over these past few years not to believe in His goodness and grace. That’s partly why Michael and I told people before the first trimester was over. Risky? Perhaps. Yet, we know God was saying, be vulnerable. Because we’ve been vulnerable there have been so many prayers for our precious baby and for ourselves and trust me we have felt the prayers of God’s people and what a blessing it has been.
I know this may sound odd too, but I really believe God used my mission trip to India in me being able to conceive. I wrote earlier that I believe God did some type of healing work in me during that trip and now I am convinced all the more that He did. It was only a week after I returned home from India that I became pregnant. Friends, that is the Lord! Especially considering what a mess I was before I left for the trip. But I came home feeling the best I’ve felt in a very long time, of course, I then began feeling tired again, but now I know why. I was pregnant, and I just didn’t know it yet. J
We appreciate your prayers, but would you do my heart a great delight and just take a moment to praise God with us. This was an act of His grace and we are so humbled by it!