Pacemaker: My Soon to be Companion

So yesterday I got some interesting news.  I am slowly becoming the next bionic woman.  Who knows soon enough I might even make Terminator status!  No but really, I have to have a pacemaker put in on Monday.  I wasn’t really expecting this, but I know that I need something, because something is not right with me.  I’ve known something hasn’t been right for quite a while now, but you know it’s always easier to avoid things and try to figure them out on our own.  Because when we avoid things it means they aren’t really as bad as they seem, at least for me it seems that way. 

I’ve been struggling with bouts of fatigue and dizziness for the past year and a half now.  I haven’t been able to run for the past 6 months and even walking becomes a chore at times because I will get so fatigued.  I recently passed out and hit my head pretty hard and had to go to the ER about a month and a half ago.  This is what began my trips to the doctor’s office and my visit to the cardiologist.  Who then sent me to a specialist who deals with the electrical part of the heart.  I’ve had some issues with this in the past (i.e. open heart surgery) so my cardiologist thought it’d be a good idea to see a specialist.  Me though, being the stubborn little gal that I am, didn’t want to see a specialist, but after talking about it with others I decided it would be a good thing. 

Long story short, I come to find out that I have a very slow heart rate and low blood pressure.  This causes me to faint and get dizzy.  Yep, something’s not right; it’s time to do something about it.  I’d like to think that no I’m fine and I don’t need this surgery, but I’m afraid that’s just not an option (that’s my controlling side coming out though).  Deep down I know that I am safe in His hands.  I’ve asked God to guide this process of healing so ultimately I’m putting my trust in Him to grant Michael and I discernment throughout.  It all seems like it’s happening so fast.  In some ways this is a bit disconcerting but I’m also grateful because I know the sooner it gets done the better I will start to feel.  So as I think about the outcome I am thankful and even a bit excited because I just want to be well.  The good thing is is that the surgery only takes 22 minutes (seems pretty amazing if you ask me!) and I will only be staying overnight. 

We would greatly appreciate your prayers throughout this process.  Please pray for my husband, my family, and for me.  It’s going to be difficult knowing that I can’t really fully coach softball for the two weeks after the surgery.  This makes me sad.   I know having a pacemaker is going to pretty much change my life, so pray for me as I learn to adjust and accept knowing that this is a good thing.  

As I pray and think, I am constantly reminded of Jer. 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  By the power of Christ in me I will walk by faith and not by sight, trusting in His constant love and care for me. 

My surgery to put in the pacemaker is scheduled for Monday at 3pm at St. John’s hospital in Springfield.