Why?

Have you ever asked the question, why?  Why did this happen or why did that happen?  I have. 

Last week I was having a difficult time because I wasn’t feeling better and I didn’t understand why I wasn’t feeling better since it had been a full month since my surgery.  I was wrestling so much inside; I was frustrated.  I was so tired of being tired.  It was like all of the emotion I’ve felt from this whole process just hit the fan.  Emotionally, spiritually, and physically I was spent.  Perhaps you could say it was a bit of meltdown. J

I began to wonder why I had to endure this second surgery when after my first surgery I experienced all of the wonderful benefits of good health to have it only fade as quickly as it came.  My heart grieves deeply to admit this but as I allowed these questions to fester I began to feel anger in my heart towards God. 

Oye.  I don’t like it when that happens.   I suppose though, it is moments like these that show us the true condition of our hearts apart from relying on the promises of God revealed in scripture.  Sure, we all have questions, we will all have seasons of doubt, but where I went wrong in all of this was allowing those questions to fester and produce those roots of bitterness in my heart.  I have now repented and asked God to uproot that ugly roots of bitterness from my heart.

Satan, is such a liar and this is one of his tactics to keep us from true freedom in Jesus Christ.  I know you’ve heard the lies before.  Perhaps they go a little something like this:  If God really cared about you that never would have happened.  God’s not really working for your good.  You will always lose in life.  God really can’t be trusted.  You’re not worth being loved.

It is in those moments that we must, without hesitation, resist the Enemy and all of His lies and stand firm according to the Truth’s in scripture!  Because friends, God can be trusted.  Why?  Because I have seen His marvelous handiwork in my own life and in the lives of others.  I also know He can be trusted, most importantly, because of what His Word says about Him.

“The Lord reigns, he is robed in majesty;
the Lord is robed in majesty
and is armed with strength.
The world is firmly established;
it cannot be moved.” Ps. 93:1

Last week, I went on my own little path there for a while, and it wasn’t very fun.  It did me no good.  It got me nowhere.  It never will get us anywhere but trouble, confusion, and heartache. 

Yesterday as I came to the Lord seeking His face for renewal I read this: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Gen. 50:20

This is actually a quote from Joseph. Joseph was a man who was treated unfairly by his family, but still remained true to God.  Friends, we may not understand why things happen or why our prayers don’t get answered the way we would like them, but this is what I know and hold fast too.  What you’ve endured or are enduring, if you’d let go of your vice grip like hold on it; will be used for good to accomplish God’s work.  Whether that work be in you personally or someone else; nothing goes in vain with God.  The greatest work that can be done in us is the work of becoming more like Jesus.  Trust me, this takes work, it means we must be broken and that is sometimes a long and painful process.

If nothing else, this time in my life has showed me all the more how much I need Jesus and how important it is to abide in Him.  The Enemy will always try to deter our hearts with lies as we pursue Truth.  We refute the Enemy through the Word of God and we live freely in Christ by abiding in His Word. 

As I reflect I know I have so much to be thankful for.  I’m alive.  My heart is beating.  I’m forgiven and free. 

Gracious Father, forgive me of my sin.  My heart needs Your grace.  Break me Lord.  How I long to live more freely in Christ.  Help me to always abide in Your Word and to learn the secret of being content in all circumstances.  Yes Lord, You will accomplish Your purpose for me.  I abandon myself to You, to Your plans, to Your goodness and mercy for me.  Amen.