When God Seems Silent

Has God ever seemed distant or maybe silent in your life?  Are you experiencing a personal trial or can remember a time of struggle where God seemed distant?

In the Bible there was a period of 400 years that passed between the Old and New Testaments where God was 'silent.'  Yes, 400 years of waiting for God’s people. We think we’ve got it bad when we have to wait in line at the grocery because once again we got in the line that doesn’t move.  Now, in all seriousness though, there are times and seasons in our lives when God does seem distant (though He is closer than we know) and we wonder what in the world He is up too.   Anybody?

Watch this though, 400 years passed and finally we learn from the book of Luke that some things are beginning to happen.  Really good things.   God took an outwardly hopeless situation and He did what can be called--a reversal.  It’s His specialty really, because out of this seemingly hopeless situation, He starts to enfold the greatest announcement in all of history.  I think someone just needs to hear that.  Think about it; 400 years had passed, that is a very long time to wait!   Yet, out of this period of silence came our Messiah, The Lord Jesus Christ. 

Friends, we serve a God who thrives in turning hopeless situations into something quite redemptive.   Maybe you are waiting for a promise of God.  Perhaps you’ve prayed the same prayer for months and possibly even years.  Friends, we can trust Him.  Look what it says in Galatians 4:4, “But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship (emphasis added by me).”  What does this mean? It means God knew exactly what He was doing in that 400 years.  He had an appointed time for His Son and you better believe He has a timing for you and all of history.  My friends worship the King today, worship Him because He is at work, even though you cannot see it, He is and His plan is good!  Don't give up on God and your seemingly hopeless situation, you never know what He is up too!  

The State of My Health Address: When God Shows Off

Okay, so I’ll admit, I’ve been a bit vague recently in my blogs relating to my health.  I’ve had my reasons for doing this.  Now, though, I want to let you in on some of the things that have really been going on for the past few months.  Why?  Trust me, it’s not because I love putting this out so the whole world can read about the personal painful details of my life, no, but for the sake of God’s glory!

Before I left for my trip to India I was having a terrible time.  It really all started in July as a result of pushing myself a little too much, but it got worse in August when I started having persistent anxiety due to a change in one of my herbal tonics.  It was awful.  Thankfully, after 2-3 weeks of dealing with this God gave me the insight to make the connection between the new herbs and the anxiety so we changed my tonic.  After that the anxiety completely stopped.  However, the stress the anxiety naturally put upon my body put my adrenals into a tailspin.  I started having issues again not being able to sleep at night waking up exhausted and depleted, this continued for a month on and off and then for almost 2 weeks straight, I was also having an awful time with my blood sugar and there were other issues some old, some surprisingly new that arose.  I really couldn't even go for walks, my body just didn't have the reserves.  And here I was a month away from my trip to India; I really needed a work of God.  The holistic specialist I am going too even told me she didn’t think I should go on my trip, she didn’t believe I was well enough and thought we’d have a lot of extra work to do when I got home.  I even remember a time where I wondered how I could get out of the trip, but I kept praying and God kept speaking to my heart that I was to be on this trip.  So, the only thing I knew to do was obey, even if it didn’t make any sense to me and things looked very bleak.    

I kept praying and asked others to pray too.  Thankfully, the Lord worked (yet He’s always working) and about a week and a half before my trip I finally started sleeping again and my blood sugar balanced back out.  The crazy, only can be explained through God thing was that I went into the trip knowing my reserves were low and that this could be a disaster for me because of the lack of sleep I would face and stress from the trip.  And if you don’t know, if your adrenals don’t want to do their job like mine, then stress and lack of sleep is a recipe for disaster.  Why?  Because the adrenals help your body respond to stress.  Oh, and just to put the icing on the cake, it was also during this time that I started having bad back pain.  I remember saying to the Lord that if I am more of a mess when I get home and have to struggle through this while I am there then let it be for Your glory.  My life is not about me, it’s about Jesus and in this moment that aspect of my faith was being tested.  Now, I don’t follow the Lord perfectly, and there are times when I don’t get it right but I knew this trip was something I had to do. 

You see, my body was at a point where I could only handle the natural stress your body has in going through a normal day and really nothing more beyond that.  So, I went into this trip, trusting Jesus, it was all I could do.  I couldn’t control anything, in fact, I’ve never felt so weak and out of control in my entire life than I have over the past few years due to my health issues (i.e. miscarriage, pacemaker surgery, pacemaker revision surgery, and now the glands).  On the trip I had all sorts of stressful situations, especially getting there, which you can read about that crazy experience here.  I also experienced a lack of sleep due to the travel and very long days of ministry.  Yet, my blood sugar was good and I never had an issue with my sleep like I’d been having.  Never, not once.  As far as I am concerned that was a miracle of God.  Oh, and not to mention, my back pain somehow disappeared once I went on the trip.  Must have been a coincidence.  NOPE, it was God.  It was His hand, to His great glory.  Ever since I’ve been home I’ve been doing quite well.  In fact, Michael even told me he saw glimpses of the old me; which, I unfortunately paid for later!  

I really truly believe there was some spiritual warfare going on leading up to the trip to discourage me from going.  

Over this past year I’ve been seeking the Lord on my healing and He kept taking me to the book of Job.  In my stubbornness, I kept saying I don’t want to go to the book of Job.  I want to go to happier stories, like the woman who bleed for 12 years and after touching Jesus she was healed, or the crippled man Paul sees has the faith to be healed and commands him to stand and he does.  You know what though, all of these people who were healed had to suffer for years, I think we forget that when we read of their miraculous healing.  In Job’s case, Scripture tells us Satan was allowed to touch his body.  I take full responsibility for the sin that has brought on some of my health problems, but oh my, I have felt like Satan has been allowed to touch my body.  Now, Job was eventually restored, but before God healed Him He brought Him to a greater place of trust and surrender to who He was as God.  God humbled him, there would be no more questions and doubts Job would bring to God, but Job would now stand in awe of God. 

Now, I've got a road ahead of me still so I'm asking for your continued prayers, but I am standing in awe of God over this trip.  I love how God shows off and shows up in the moments that look the least hopeful and does something that can only be explained through Him.  Maybe that’s why He waits for those moments, because we’d take credit for it unless we knew we couldn’t have done it on our own?    

God may have some healing or blessings of some sort for you friend, but He may be calling you to follow Him into the unknown to a place of pure brokenness and dependence upon Him.  Just like Abraham who was called out of his own country and into one God would show him later (Gen. 12:1).  Or like Joshua and Caleb who believed God when the other 10 spies did not (Num. 13:26-33, 14:6-9).  God blessed Joshua and Caleb for their whole-hearted devotion to Him and gave them the victory—much later, in fact many years later. 

What have you been discouraged by?  A relational struggle?  Health problems?  Financial difficulties?  Some type of loss?  Closed doors?  Don’t you give up Beloved, that’s exactly what Satan wants you to do.  Don’t you do it, don’t you give him one inch of your freedom in Christ!  God has so much more for you, so much more peace and joy, freedom and hope through His Son Jesus.  “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Cor. 5:7  

Our Journey to India

My sister and I recently went on a mission trip to India.  It was such a neat experience, one filled with many joys but also many obstacles.  God was on the move, there is no doubt in my mind, but so was Satan.  I think in sharing our journey you’ll see what I mean. :)

Our journey began at Chicago’s O’Hare airport where we had a 4-hour delay due to issues with our plane.  Our original plane had problems with leaking water and then our replacement plane had mechanical issues that had to be worked through before we could take off.  This 4-hour delay meant we would arrive in Paris at the time our next flight was scheduled to leave.  So they rescheduled us for a different flight out of Paris of which we found out would leave at 1:30pm instead of our original time of 11:00am.  The crazy thing was though, was while at the Paris airport from the time we landed until the time we boarded our next flight we did not stop moving for 2 hours and 15 minutes.  I’m pretty positive we covered the entire airport.  It was a fight.  I say a fight because I know we were experiencing spiritual warfare.  Everywhere we went we would hit a roadblock.  I remember counting how many places we had to go or things we had to do before we were able to get on our plane and it was around 12.  Yes, 12 obstacles we had to face before we got on our plane.  Honestly, we almost gave up because it was so frustrating.  I left that airport with three stamps in my passport if that gives you any idea of the troubles we faced!

Probably the greatest struggle was going to the ticket counter to get our tickets to find they were not boarding passes.  So we had to go to a completely different counter and get our actual tickets.  We then go back to the line with our tickets in hand to then have a woman come out of no where and pull us into this little area to weigh and measure our carry on baggage.  We couldn’t believe it, at this point we had about 30 minutes before our flight would leave, and we knew they were already boarding at this point.  We couldn’t miss this flight!  Unfortunately when our flight was rescheduled it was rescheduled with a different airline that had very different restrictions for carry on baggage.  The woman weighed our carry on and Heather’s was way over the limit, so was mine and our friends but she only made Heather check her bag.  Heather had to sprint to the checked bag area because of course it was in a different place to find she had to pay an extra $270 to check her bag.  Wow, awesome.  Finally though I saw Heather running towards us and we got back up to the line for the third time and this time we got through.  We then reached the security line.  I had to go to a different line because of my pacemaker and of course it was the line that did not move.  I saw my sister and our friend had made it through in no time, but there I was still waiting, I finally just bolted past the others so patiently waiting and told the woman I had to go or I was going to miss my flight.  Thankfully, she let me go.  We then had a Home Alone moment where we all ran to our gate to board our plane with minutes to spare. 

The new flight we were on took us to a 6-hour lay over in Saudi Arabia, where to our delight everyone was very nice and helpful.  When we landed in Chennai, India we discovered Heather and I’s checked bags were lost which meant Heather had no clothes because of having to check her carry on in Paris. 

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper…” Is. 54:17a

These events were confirmation to us that that God had a plan for us in India and Satan did not want us there.  We could have given up, we almost did, but I'm so thankful God gave us the strength to not give up.  As our time in India unfolded we began to see the plans that God had for us there.  Heather and I were so blessed to be able to share messages at both the women’s conference and Gospel meetings.  God used these to touch hearts in ways that I don’t readily see in America.  There was such an openness and response.  People were responding to the Gospel, coming to faith in Christ for the first time and many others were touched by the Holy Spirit in various ways in their walk with Christ.  We heard beautiful and encouraging testimonies of faith in Christ and the work and growth of the church in India.  We were also personally touched and moved by the Holy Spirit.  My heart was burdened deeply for my own country and what I am realizing even more is spiritual apathy.  There is something special going on in India, God is on the move and people are responding to the Gospel in ways I have not personally seen in America and are coming to Christ and His Word with freshness and excitement that is inspiring and convicting.  I saw a house church that comfortably fit about 15 people where around 25-30 made a way in and some even still sat outside.  There's a hunger in India for Truth.  I think one of the greatest things I have taken away from my time in India is a burden to pray for a revival in my own nation.  Would you pray with me?

I also want to encourage those who feel like giving up or have given up because of spiritual warfare.  Beloved, keep fighting, because Your God fights for you (Ex. 14:14)!  There was a time when I was in India that I experienced spiritual warfare and in a way I did give up, but later came to Christ in repentance for renewal and strength and saw Him work through me in a way I have never seen.  I felt His strength and power in a supernatural way that helped me overcome my own limitations to be able to share the hope of Christ with a group of women.  It never would have happened if I would have looked to my own strength or stayed in defeat.  Friends, it's time to stop walking around defeated and start living in the Spirit of Christ who lives in us!  Yes, it's time to start moving forward, living in victory over Satan to watch God move in ways that can only explained through Him!  

The State of my Health Address: Enough

I never would have expected the journey God has taken me on over the past three years concerning my health, my mind, my walk with Him, and really so many other things—some of which are personal and quite dear to my heart (you don’t need to know all of my business anyways;)).  Following Jesus over the past three years has not been easy, it’s been hard.  It’s been a choice in so many ways for me, not a feeling, but a choice to trust and believe God even when I may not understand it.  Especially in the moments where I wanted to serve Him more, but I couldn’t because physically I wasn’t able.  What a much-needed humbling experience this has been for me.  I can’t even begin to express to you all God has done in me through this.  And now, by the grace of God, I believe He has brought me to a much better place of acceptance and praise, with the understanding He is good, Sovereign and has a plan that reaches beyond anything I can seeJ.   My faith is becoming something I know personally, and not just something I read about it.

On this journey, I’ve experienced ups and downs, but through it all Christ has remained constant.  In the moments where I have just wanted to throw in the towel, I hear the sweet whisper of the Holy Spirit calling me to keep moving forward.  Yes, I’ve experienced a level of suffering and surrender I have not known until now, but for the sake of Christ, know it has been redemptive!  That’s why I want to share this blog with you, because I believe God has allowed me to suffer for His glory--and my own freedom.  He has allowed some things to be removed from me, some for a time, others maybe forever, and, oh yeah; He has allowed me to experience the consequences of my own sin.  Can I tell you, it is hard, so hard, because I’m realizing just how broken I am.  I have never in my life realized just how much I need Jesus. 

Here’s the great thing about God though, because in my brokenness I have realized just how sufficient Christ Jesus is.  Jesus is enough.  Though I’ve been stripped of things, some of which are very good things; I have come to a place where I can say, Jesus is enough and He is really what my heart is crying out for.   He is beyond sufficient to meet my needs.  I’ve found in the quiet moments with God what I really want is more of Him.  Isn’t this the journey God desires to take us on?  A journey were we are so fed up with our trips to the pit we dig for ourselves that we say—Jesus, make me well, I just want You.   Like the man who had been sick for 38 years whom Jesus asked if he wanted to be well?  Isn’t it odd Jesus asks this man if he wants to be well?  I wonder if we really want to be well or if we want our way, our self-sufficiency and in essence our sickness.  Maybe we’d like to think we can have both.  I know my actions have shown the latter.

Beloved, God is so patient and kind.  He can restore anything and anyone who would turn to Him for healing.  Let go of the resentment, stop fighting for answers and fall at the feet of Jesus, confessing your own unbelief.  He really is enough!  Seek Him like never before and you will not be disappointed!  He has a plan for your life and it is good.  You can stay in your bondage or you can trust that God will set you free through your own pain and suffering.  “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18)  Friends, as believers in Christ, we have this hope.  Our struggle is actually an avenue to our freedom in Christ.  I’m choosing to trust God with my pain knowing He is using it to free me and bring me into fuller intimacy with His Son.  How about you?

Are you Eating the Cereal?

Remember the days when you could find a prize in your cereal box?  I do; in fact, one prize I remember in particular was a pair of 3D glasses.  Flimsy?  Yes.  Sugar coated?  Perhaps.  Awesomely cool?  To my 8 year old frame, absolutely!  What was the idea of behind the prizes?  Well, the idea was that you’d buy and eat the box of cereal in order to get the prize.  Really it was a clever marketing tool, actually started by Kellogg’s Corn Flakes in 1909 (the year after the Cubbies won the world series!).   Sorry folks just had to put that in there.  J Now, it wasn’t right to just pour out all the cereal to get the prize was it?  No!  You’d miss out on all the yummy deliciousness on the way to the prize!

Jesus, He’s kind of like the prize in the cereal box, isn’t He?  He’s the prize of God, the culmination of God’s redemptive plan revealed to us all in Scripture.   Yet, I think we’re missing out on something in our relationship with Him.  I’m afraid we’ve dumped out all of the yummy deliciousness on the way to the prize.  His Word, Beloved, holds treasures yet discovered by us personally. 

What, don’t believe me?  Watch what Jesus says in Luke 24:27 “Then beginning with Moses and with all the prophets, He explained to them the things concerning Himself in all the Scriptures.”  Read that slowly.  Take it in.  Jesus is saying to these men on the road to Emmaus that The Old Testament is all about Him!   I can only begin to fathom all the glorious treasures there are about the Lord Jesus Christ that we have yet to discover!  And not only in the Old Testament, but also in the new, remember, the Holy Spirit’s role is to reveal Christ to us, and God does that through the Word penned to us by the Holy Spirit (John 16:13-15, 2 Pet. 1:20-21).   I’m asking God to open our eyes to the treasure and mystery of His Word, so we might know His Son in depth and insight like never before.  Beloved, feast on the Word, don’t discard it because you’ve got the prize, but dig in and discover all the glorious riches God has for you in His Son—the love, the Truth, the freedom!