I never would have expected the journey God has taken me on over the past three years concerning my health, my mind, my walk with Him, and really so many other things—some of which are personal and quite dear to my heart (you don’t need to know all of my business anyways;)). Following Jesus over the past three years has not been easy, it’s been hard. It’s been a choice in so many ways for me, not a feeling, but a choice to trust and believe God even when I may not understand it. Especially in the moments where I wanted to serve Him more, but I couldn’t because physically I wasn’t able. What a much-needed humbling experience this has been for me. I can’t even begin to express to you all God has done in me through this. And now, by the grace of God, I believe He has brought me to a much better place of acceptance and praise, with the understanding He is good, Sovereign and has a plan that reaches beyond anything I can seeJ. My faith is becoming something I know personally, and not just something I read about it.
On this journey, I’ve experienced ups and downs, but through it all Christ has remained constant. In the moments where I have just wanted to throw in the towel, I hear the sweet whisper of the Holy Spirit calling me to keep moving forward. Yes, I’ve experienced a level of suffering and surrender I have not known until now, but for the sake of Christ, know it has been redemptive! That’s why I want to share this blog with you, because I believe God has allowed me to suffer for His glory--and my own freedom. He has allowed some things to be removed from me, some for a time, others maybe forever, and, oh yeah; He has allowed me to experience the consequences of my own sin. Can I tell you, it is hard, so hard, because I’m realizing just how broken I am. I have never in my life realized just how much I need Jesus.
Here’s the great thing about God though, because in my brokenness I have realized just how sufficient Christ Jesus is. Jesus is enough. Though I’ve been stripped of things, some of which are very good things; I have come to a place where I can say, Jesus is enough and He is really what my heart is crying out for. He is beyond sufficient to meet my needs. I’ve found in the quiet moments with God what I really want is more of Him. Isn’t this the journey God desires to take us on? A journey were we are so fed up with our trips to the pit we dig for ourselves that we say—Jesus, make me well, I just want You. Like the man who had been sick for 38 years whom Jesus asked if he wanted to be well? Isn’t it odd Jesus asks this man if he wants to be well? I wonder if we really want to be well or if we want our way, our self-sufficiency and in essence our sickness. Maybe we’d like to think we can have both. I know my actions have shown the latter.
Beloved, God is so patient and kind. He can restore anything and anyone who would turn to Him for healing. Let go of the resentment, stop fighting for answers and fall at the feet of Jesus, confessing your own unbelief. He really is enough! Seek Him like never before and you will not be disappointed! He has a plan for your life and it is good. You can stay in your bondage or you can trust that God will set you free through your own pain and suffering. “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18) Friends, as believers in Christ, we have this hope. Our struggle is actually an avenue to our freedom in Christ. I’m choosing to trust God with my pain knowing He is using it to free me and bring me into fuller intimacy with His Son. How about you?