“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Heb. 11:1
Ok, so I’ve been back to the doctor again. Why? Because I keep hitting road blocks. I feel a bit schizophrenic at times. One week, I’m good, the next I’m fatigued. Good news from the doctor, my heart is fine and so is the pacemaker. Not so good news, doctor thinks it’s something else that’s making me so tired. Ok, so we’ve got a bit of a challenge, but nothing my God cannot handle.
You know, I’m beginning to wonder if that energy that I know I felt back in May was a gift from God, a taste of the healing that would come. A taste that keeps me going and knowing there’s something better for me. I hardly remember it now, but I know it was there and I believe in His timing it will return. I was hoping it would have been by now. I was thinking it would return in no time. But it didn’t.
This is truly a season in my life where I am being called to persevere in faith. Can I tell you, I’ve been discovering just how small my faith in God really is. God has shown me my impatience, my stubbornness, my just plain lack of faith. I am beginning to realize that all the more as I walk this path of desiring to be well. My life is on hold. Yes, I want to get on with my life. But right now, I’m called to persevere in faith, by the power of Christ in me believing God for better things yet to come. But right here, right now God has some work to do in my heart, so I open my hands to Him so He can do the work of redemption He needs to do in my heart and life.
Faith is not something that comes overnight friends; it takes time, and sometimes even takes years to grow in a certain area. I was thinking about the idea of faith and it reminded me of something that happened at dinner tonight. Michael and I were hungry hippos for dinner tonight so instead of putting the baked potato in the oven and waiting the hour it would take to cook I decided to nuke it in the microwave. In a matter of minutes it was done! Now, I never do this. Why? Because the taste of a microwaved potato is just not the same compared to one in the oven, but alas, I did it, for the sake of convenience, hunger and downright impatience!
I don’t want a microwavable faith. I want a faith that when I’m hungry, I wait with patient hope for what is real. Not reaching for a quick fix, but only Jesus Christ to satisfy my needs. Because I don’t want a microwaved potato that doesn’t taste as good, but a real potato that has cooked over time with a crispy exterior and a smooth buttery interior. I want the same for my faith. I want a faith that has grown over time, which produces something beautiful, resembling that of Jesus Christ. But that means it going to be a journey. It’s going to take time and struggle as I am emptied of the sin and filled to the fullness of the measure of God!
You know, I believe I will be well. During the month of August I’m going to pray for healing. Would you pray with me?
Gracious Father, I want a faith that is grown over time. I want a faith that when my heart yearns for something more in life, doesn’t reach for anything other than You. I want to learn to be content; I want to grow in patient hope and prayer. I want to speak with greater faith and hope when I think about the condition of my health. Jesus, I want You. Be glorified in me. I entrust this work to your never-ending grace Amen.