Seasons

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.” Ps. 51:17 

There are different seasons to life and no I’m not talking about winter or spring.  I am talking about the different phases of life we all experience as we grow and age.  Some of these seasons we love and wish would never end, some seasons we wish we never would have experienced, while some seasons we like but after a while we also want them to end. 

I was talking with a mentor of mine last week and she said to me something which really stuck out and I have tried to allow it to do something in my heart.  She said something to the effect of; you have to believe that in this new season of life there is the gracious abundant love of God.  

I have been thinking about this, trying to really wrap my head around it.  Because here’s the thing; this whole letting go of and wanting things in your life but not having them is not easy (I have blogged about it before, the difficulty of letting go and of allowing God to work in the timeouts of life).  Deep down I know and I believe that in this season of life, though it is unexpected and truthfully not all I long for, there is the overflowing love of God for me. 

You see, my problem is, I’m a bit of a fighter.  I always have been.  I’m pretty good at getting my way and what I want.  I figure things out fairly easily and tend to make them work for me.  Well, you know what friends; I cannot get this season to work for me.  At least not in the timing I want it to work in :). And this is really where I have gone wrong, isn’t it (and if probably why I need the humbling)?  We know that as followers of the Lord Jesus Christ we are in big trouble when we start living with the perspective of me.  It is not about me, my plans, nor my control it’s about the gracious and glorious plans God has for me and for all creation.  It is good to be humbled by the Lord, but my goodness does it hurt.  You know what I am talking about; I bet you have experienced it for yourself. And if you haven’t, I would be so bold to suggest to you that you should ask God to humble you.  Why?  Because it is where freedom is found. 

Freedom, you say?   Let me try to explain.  In this season of my life, God really has showed me so much, and not only about myself, but about Him.  My faith is growing roots, it’s becoming not just something I believe because it is what I read, no, I believe it because I have made a conscious choice to believe it in light of my circumstances.  We build spiritual strength and character as we allow The Word to minister Truth to us, in essence God is building the character of Jesus Christ in us, and this my friends is true freedom.  I really wonder if our faith has any real depth unless we ourselves have come to this place. 

So what I am going to do in this season?  I am going to surrender.  And the next day after that when the old feelings/desires arise—I will surrender again and I will keep surrendering because it is not about me.  It is about Jesus.  God is working out all things, for my good and His glory (Rom. 8:28, Phil. 2:13).  This is the Truth I cling to in this season of life, because there is for me and for you the gracious abundant love of God. 

What does your heart desire?  What does it mean for you to give it to God?